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To talk to him in person, you'll need to be in Cadens or go to his domain, a snowy mountain fortress. Yard is open; doors are locked. If he isn't around, leave a delivery with the white wolf.
To talk to him in person, you'll need to be in Cadens or go to his domain, a snowy mountain fortress. Yard is open; doors are locked. If he isn't around, leave a delivery with the white wolf.
no subject
Either way, the semantics of it aren't important to him, so he won't argue the point. He's mostly just surprised that he doesn't seem to care one way or the other. It seems this is an ongoing theme.
"If you are truly so uninvolved in her fate, then mayhap there is no issue."
This is an unexpectedly difficult thing to work with. Given that he has positive impressions of a few of the people in Geralt's in-group, he's been disinclined to cause unnecessary friction with them. Yet, making his stance on things clear doesn't seem to be very effective here. It shows on his face, for a moment - the way he doesn't really seem to know what to do with this situation.
He didn't come here wanting to be an asshole. If anything, he wanted to keep up ties with those in other places. This sort of thing isn't usually his job.
"I only know it would avail me not to make more enemies than necessary."
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He's prone toward neither. If Estinien is here to gauge retribution over this incident, he won't find any. Yennefer's fate hangs upon more than one elf. She doesn't need him, besides. Not to step in. He worries about her as much as he doesn't, as much as he's aware she can take care of herself. He is not her protector. And she'll be incredibly pissed off if he interferes on her behalf without reason and fucks up whatever intricate plans she's already begun to lay. He came here for Cirilla. Promised he'd look after the girl, both to Yen and himself, and trusted Yen knows what she's doing back in Thorne. That's where his focus is, where he's trying to keep it. With Ciri and Jaskier. That's something he can do. Because he can't do anything about this, about Thorne, about the fact that he hates that Yennefer has put him in this position, right call or not. Has made him feel this chasm inside him he doesn't know what to do with.
His fingers curl gently where they rest on the table. Being inside his own shaped Kaer Morhen makes him miss the ease of home. Where there's none of this shit in the way. Where there are just his brothers and the snow and the stories they tell by the fire. His desire to remain uninvolved is not for lack of care. It's because he's learned, a long time ago, it changes nothing. The world will shift. If one kingdom does not fall with all of its children inside, another will. And in the end, the humans will carry on, in the ashes they leave behind, until they find something new to turn against. Until they find something different enough they can tell themselves it deserves to burn, too.
"You have your people," he says finally. "Look after them, and I'll look after mine."
He's not here to start a problem. He said all that needed to be said, when he told Estinien not to make it his business; to him, that's all that matters for where he stands. As long as Estinien doesn't start anything more, he's willing to stay out of the elf's way.
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Estinien has his people, of course, the ones that he would fight tooth and nail for, circumstances be damned. Yet, in his choice to join the Scions, he made a choice to stand for more than that. To stand for people not his own, and lands he'd never been to before. He knows it's what Alphinaud and the others would be doing, if they were here.
He tries to imagine Alphinaud having this same conversation - firmly but diplomatically explaining that while he sought no ill will, the bigger picture had to come first. As soft as the boy was at times, he knew he would make the right decisions, in the end. If only Estinien himself were as confident taking point, in trying to cultivate allies and make the call on when war was unavoidable.
It's not what he was built for, but in their absence, he has to try.
Estinien looks back to Geralt somberly, unhappy with this outcome but unsure of how to do better. He knows his answer isn't what Geralt is going to want to hear.
"This is what I'm trying to tell you," he says. "For my people here, and for the ones waiting at home, I cannot simply allow Thorne to carry on in its advances. Too many times have I seen men and women of the same ambition consumed by tyranny. If she would defend them, or enable them, it will not remain as simple as my people and yours."
The same could apply for the Free Cities, in coming days or weeks. If he finds no compelling reason for the Singularity's destruction, he will have no choice but to fight to prevent it.
"I made an oath to fight for more than personal security and the wellbeing of a handful of others. And if my comrades cannot be here to fight for all that is dear to them... then it falls to me to do so in their stead."
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There isn't. Maybe if Estinien had been talking to someone else, his speech might've been worthwhile. For Geralt, it only raises a wariness he hadn't felt before. He knows men hungry with power, he knows men who are cruel and violent. Men too weak to be anything else. But there is nothing that makes him step further away from it all than a man who has the conviction that he is fighting for something bigger. Nilfgaard has marched through half the north on this conviction. It is the same conviction that Ambrose holds. It is the same conviction that has the Continent, the Red Riders, pursuing Cirilla across worlds.
He wants nothing to do with it.
If his expression had been steady before, it's now entirely shuttered. There's an unnatural stillness to him, a faint hum to the medallions that hang.
"I don't care about your oaths." He's quiet, as always, and a careful calm has settled beneath the steel in his words. "I've heard it all before. Believe in what let's you sleep easiest at night, when you wash the blood off your blade. It means fuck all to me. But I am not asking you to leave me out of it. I'm telling you that you'll want to."
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Ironic, perhaps, that if he'd had this same conversation a few years ago, he might have been free of the oaths and hopes that are apparently anathema in this context. For all he's wondered about his worth, about his understanding of the world, following the ideals of people like Aymeric and Alphinaud seemed like that the one thing that was an objective improvement.
Yet, right now, it's completely biting him in the ass, and he isn't even sure why. Would Geralt rather he potentially attack and kill someone dear to him without even trying to broker peace? Is it really just a case of either forsaking his objectives or starting a feud, with no room for mediation?
Why did you even bother? This isn't for you.
It's so tempting to just let it take him, the wave of anger and despair he feels. Thankfully, most of this doesn't show on the surface. Though his frustration comes through in his eyes, it's followed by a biting sharpness to match Geralt's frozen calm. Geralt's words are so condescending, to him. So arrogant. As if this Witcher thinks he knows all there is to know of the world. Of all worlds.
"Truthfully," he says, "I found the killing easiest when it was just for me. Just because I wanted to." There was no greater satisfaction than to fell one of his hated enemies. No more perfect simplicity than a long march towards revenge.
"Having hopes? Ideals? They only get in the way of it."
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But it'll not be because someone's dragged this mess to his doorstep and demanded he make a choice or else. Is now starting to tell him about—whatever it is. What is it? What's even the point? Does Estinien want a pat on the head, for his internal struggles before a throat is cut? Does he want to see disdain for acknowledging having once killed without mercy? Does he think it makes a difference either way?
It doesn't. Geralt does not care to debate arbitrary moral reasonings behind blood spilled, one way or another. He cannot give two shits about whether Estinien feels nothing or feels everything or something in between about what he chooses to do. Somewhere in the mob that burned Kaer Morhen to the ground, in the hungry violence, there were those who struggled, too, as they stepped over the bodies. Who did it, anyway, because they foresaw a better world without his kind to plague it. Plenty who can't sleep at night, knowing they abandoned their child to the Witchers, to the Trials, and just as many who would do it again in a heartbeat. What does it matter? What does it change? (His mother had looked at him with such guilt and grief, and some part of him hates her all the more for it.)
What Estinien can never understand is that this has moved long past just Yennefer. Because there's a girl in his hands, and all he knows for certain is that she hasn't asked to be a part these hopes and prophecies, either. So the only thing he gives a damn about is protecting her from this war, from everyone's grand ideals that would use her.
And it means Geralt has zero desire in extending this conversation. To him, it ended five minutes ago, when Estinien made it clear that he has some higher purpose in mind he will stop at nothing for.
"You don't seem to understand," he says flatly, "that I'm telling you to fuck off."
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"I understand full well," he growls, glaring at the man with a look that approaches contempt. "What I don't see is why, given your own policy of caring 'fuck all', that I should be all that concerned with what brings you comfort."
He doesn't see it as a mercy to be allowed to go ignored. He doesn't want offers to look the other way or let this one slide. He didn't come here to apologize. No, what he wants is for Geralt to look at him and to address the trouble on his doorstep without shrinking away like a coward. He didn't ask for mercy, what he asked for was understanding, and it's clear that neither of them are getting that here.
It's with a tenderness that he withdraws his attempt at empathy. Despite how far he's come, it's what it so often comes down to when he feels hurt. Eye for an eye. If he will not be heard, he will not listen, either. He may see the value in self-sacrifice, but it will not be done on account of someone who offers nothing in return.
It's comforting, to recoil into himself like this, to feel justified bearing his fangs. He tried to be like the other Scions. No one can say he didn't try.
"I had hoped to spare us both unnecessary pains, but I can see now 'twas for naught. Remember this well. When you lose what little you have in this place, remember: 'twas your own indolence that prevented you from doing a single thing to stop it."
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It's funny. How it falls into place, given space and time to grow. Oscillating between his fight for greater and ideals, and laying out his bloodthirsty history in the next breath—it's hard not to get the inkling, now that the elf has shown his hand, as though Estinien from the start wanted solely to get something from him: the satisfaction of a reaction, of a confession. Perhaps that's why he's been so relentless, playing one card after the next: Yennefer, this damn war, dramatic fucking threats. Why even now, he's still here, still will not shut up, a dog with a bone. Going on about concern for comforts as if he's doing a favour by coming here with his bullshit. It's both typical and tiring to be faced with people that far up their own ass.
But Estinien is not the first who's come into the Witcher's space unannounced with the intentions to start a fight, demanded his head, warned him of consequences, sunk claws into the scars they glimpse. Tried to get a rise out of him, because they're bored, because he's an easy target in the right place at the wrong time, because they want him to bite like the monster they see him as. He takes it all the same; a century is a long time to learn not to flinch.
Geralt's eyes haven't left Estinien's since, but when the elf rises, his gaze doesn't bother to follow. The flames in the hearth lower, then gently snuff out—an indication, perhaps, that he's about to leave this plane, whether Estinien walks away first or not. He's wasted enough time. Estinien has come here claiming what he has; Geralt will take him at his word. Maybe there are deeper motivations at play, maybe there aren't—where the few who mean anything (everything) to him are concerned, he has better priorities than cracking the surface of those who choose to put themselves in front of him as a threat. That's all there is to it.
"You have a lot on your mind." The yellow of his eyes catch the remaining torchlight—expression not bored nor even unaffected, but devoid altogether. A practiced emptiness. "Don't let me keep you."
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No, he will not make things easy, not for Geralt or for that witch. For all that Geralt tried to keep himself from getting involved, in Estinien's eyes, it has tied him inextricably to that woman's actions.
There's a lot of things it could be. It could be this is the way Geralt seeks to defend her. It could be that he agrees with her but doesn't want to say as much. Mayhap, all along, there has been a layer of deceit to Geralt that he didn't realize - but ultimately, he'll never know, because the man won't sacrifice an inch to tell him. He can do nothing in the face of that. Nothing but to resort to the same tactics he always has.
Yet, that isn't what weighs most heavily on his heart. It's knowing what's at stake - at knowing how outnumbered and outgunned he and Himeka may be, and now also knowing how much of an uphill battle it may be to even have the others that have been entrapped give a shite.
"How could I not?" he demands, and while his distress usually just manifests as layers of anger, there's an edge of desperation to it as well. "When everything I've ever given a damn about is at stake?"
Maybe Geralt has nothing, cares for nothing. He supposes it would be easier if he felt the same.
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Sure as hell not in a position where he wants to understand a man he'll likely cross swords with in the future. Estinien has his reasons; that isn't in doubt. They all do. People do not become so unyielding without something deeply set inside to burn that flame. They don't doggedly cling to a conversation that obviously isn't happening, when it would be easier to end it and move on. Geralt has his reasons, too, for holding little desire to open himself up to someone he can't make promises to. He doesn't want to hear the desperation. It's already far too much that he knows the people who are important to Estinien. Had once said he'd look after them. It's beginning to feel complicated when the reality remains starkly simple: either they steer clear of each other or one of them won't walk away. And it doesn't appear Estinien wants the former.
So no. He isn't staying to hear anything else. If Estinien chooses to come up against those closest to him, then it won't matter how much or how little Geralt understands him or his reasons. He already knows what he'll do.
Regardless of if he has an elf in his path or not, Geralt will go in whichever direction is clear—and if there's no door existing, there will be one, emerging in one of the scuffed, scarred walls. Only a brief pause stops him, despite himself. He does not look back.
"I can't help you." He pushes the door open. Follow him out, and there'll be nothing but bones on the ground. No footprints in the snow. "Find someone better."