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[gynvael]

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Geralt is always reachable by the network. Unless it's an emergency, expect not to hear back for a few hours, if not a few days.

To talk to him in person, you'll need to be in Cadens or go to his domain, a snowy mountain fortress. Yard is open; doors are locked. If he isn't around, leave a delivery with the white wolf.

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[magicalarchaeologist]

It could be. It's a dangerous spell.

[ One that Istredd would be curious in finding out the details of some day. Not that he would want to use it for himself, but perhaps by learning parts of it, he would be able to find that tether. Then again, best intentions could just as easily spiral that quest for knowledge into more damage, like the book of monoliths he went chasing, or Cirilla's heritage search. One of these days he'll learn the lesson that not every question should be answered.

Istredd would have had some issues if the others voted to restore. He barely tolerated the fact the cultists are still alive somewhere, but he accepted the decision. This would have been difficult and he would have spoken out against it more firmly. He was surprised when Thancred voted to restore, the only person in Thorne who did, but he suspects the man has his reasons.

It's more than a simple question, with a simple answer. What was he searching for Closure. Answers. None of it came. If this was Geralt talking to him before a certain point in time, he would have brushed it off, but they've become closer recently.]

Yes and no. [ He answers honestly. ] Yes in that we accomplished follow-ups that I wanted to, made certain the bodies were taken back, and burned it all down. No in that I wanted to be over it and prove it by being there, and I wasn't.

[gynvael]

[ Dangerous is an understatement. He'd not be surprised to learn that consequences have been lurking. Slipping by unnoticed until it was too late. Unnoticed or ignored by those unwilling to acknowledge the risks.

He rests his hand on the table. His gaze is careful. Sometimes, he wonders why Istredd was not selected by the acolytes for their ritual. As far as he's aware, Istredd was the only one. Was it incidental? Or was there something they sensed in his magic? Of those captured, only Istredd had touched the Singularity before. Seen it up close, in person.

It's difficult to say.

A silence stretches onward before he finally answers. ] When you bleed because you tore a scab, it's not a question of character. And it won't serve to heal you any faster.

[ If Istredd did not find the peace he sought...that's simply how it is. Some things are best left undisturbed. At least until the scars have faded with the years. He knows what it's like to wander amongst those living memories. Through the horrors that await through the halls and rooms. The labs at Kaer Morhen, the dark dungeons that held every Witcher, the corpses outside—they were never dismantled, never removed. He grew up facing them with each passing day, and the truth is, he isn't sure if that's a choice he'd have made had he been given one. If it had not been the only home he had. The only home he knew.

Perhaps he'd have made his peace more easily had he been allowed to walk away and not look back. ]

[magicalarchaeologist]

[ Istredd doesn't know why. He thinks eventually he would have been taken, but perhaps not. He and Caitlyn were the only ones, and they also were the only ones capable of curing some of the infection. Both attempts damaged him, but it gave Istredd the opportunity to heal people who could help. Steve turned out to be the best idea, given that his clear head prevailed during the escape, and afterward too. If there were any answers as to why, he'll never know them.

He lets it be quiet too while Geralt thinks of something to say, but really it's Istredd's own mind churning too. He's been having this feeling in his gut, he's been musing on a variety of things, but he hasn't been able to put it into words. With Geralt, he's decided to try. It is easier for him, when things are logical. But this is not.]

The over a year I've spent in this place has changed me in a way decades did not. The trauma from the Pit, and from Thanedd ... I'm not the same person I was when we met.

[ When he followed the crumbs to Cirilla, when he went to the elves naively thinking he could save the day, when he learned how wrong he was and came back to the Brotherhood disgruntled. The memories of before and after Thanedd have now properly mixed together with this place, in clear clarity. He settles back in his chair and sighs, letting his eyes wander as if avoiding something, before he sets them on Geralt again. ]

I think it's for the better, the change, but I suppose part of me is wondering how to reconcile that certainty with the experience. Is it wrong to be glad for something terrible happening, if it led to somewhere important?

[ Geralt is far more worldly than Istredd. The scholar may have traveled some of the realm but always in his books or under ground or with his bones. In the library. He didn't experience life, he hid from it. Then he came here and he was forced to interact with other people and to find a community, which he tried (and failed) to avoid back home due to his issues with the Brotherhood. Istredd is many things he never thought he would be; a teacher, a mentor, a father figure, a lover, a close friend, a confidante, to more people than he typically spoke to on a weekly basis before.

So the changes? Where he is at right here in this tavern? He is grateful for. But it came at a cost, a cost he'd pay for himself, yet it is for others too. They all suffered, and he grew from that suffering. Would he do it all over again? Yes, to get here. That is the hard part to figure out. ]

[gynvael]

[ No. He is not. Geralt is not, either. Much has happened since he first arrived in this sphere. He recalls telling Jaskier that, should the bard escape Thorne's clutches, he needed to find the girl in the woods. The one Geralt once believed he'd failed to. He recalls not knowing what the fuck to say the first time he realized Ciri knew him as her father.

Now they're here. Loss and pain layered over each other. He does not wish for another path. This is where he wants to be. ]

Regret won't carry you forward.

[ If gladness is what Istredd has, then that's what he has. They all seek a purpose from the shit that makes up life. Some sort of meaning. Everything important that Geralt has, everything that he is, it's often been...conflicting. His mother. Being a Witcher. How he came to find Ciri. Even Vesemir—

There's no point in pretending Destiny does not have two edges. Everything comes with a cost. Everything. That's the only certitude he knows. And until you make your peace with that, you will never have any.

After a moment, Geralt seems to shake off the grim shadows clinging to their conversation. His tone is wry as he pours another drink. ]

For what it's worth, I find you a little more tolerable, as well.

[magicalarchaeologist]

I didn't expect to survive the situation, and I nearly didn't. I probably would have only made it another hour or two without a healer.

[ Istredd doesn't think Geralt knew how close he'd come, as he had other things to worry about after the escape. He doesn't regret taking a blow meant for Ciri and would do it again, but it was a close call to say the least. Steve Rogers was doing his best toward the end, and the important part is it did all work out. He's alive and well, right here. He was stronger than he thought. ]

Having two near-death experiences in the same year got me musing. In any case, I don't think I regret anything in this place. My regrets are left on the continent.

[ Geralt always had his life in his hands and went into situations ready to die, being a witcher, and he's a survivor for many decades. Istredd's only catching up to that mindset. It's nice to know that he can do more than he thought. He hates being underestimated but it's because he underestimates himself. Projection.

As for that last bit though he chuckles, shaking his head. ]

Oh I've been upgraded to tolerable, have I? Does this mean you occasionally think of me when I'm not in your line of sight?

[ Don't think he will ever, ever, ever forget that Geralt said that to Jaskier in the Feywilds. It sticks in his mind, which rationally he knows it shouldn't, but again, projection about insignificance in this case. He's good-humored about it now though, knowing Geralt's just Geralt. ]

[gynvael]

Let's not make a third.

[ Istredd is right that he'd had little room to contemplate the people he left behind. They were all wounded and dying—the ones who fled with him, too. Besides, the situation did not end with their return. Dean's death had complicated matters. Truth be known, he did not have much time to think about that island altogether before things fell apart elsewhere. His life often travels from one crisis to another.

But he is glad Istredd made it out in one piece.

His lips curl faintly. Hm. Still on the mage's mind, is it? ] Oh, you wish for me to think of you?

[ He's only teasing. The first time he met Istredd, he'd found him curious solely because of his connection to Yennefer. Lately, he can admit he's found...some merit to the man himself. Besides, in the end, Istredd remains one of the few who shares his sphere. And no matter who else he grows close to, they can never truly understand all that the Continent encompassed. ]

[magicalarchaeologist]

Yes, I think if it happens a third time, one might have to wonder if I'm getting careless. [ In a droll tone. ] Although I do have some fighting skills now. I've been training since I got here, and Lucifer and I go hunting regularly in Nocwich.

[ Istredd's very proud of that, although trying to act completely nonchalant. It's not as if he would be comparable to a witcher but he's survived monsters pretty well since starting. There is satisfaction in feeling like he can take care of himself, even if those skills did not come in handy during the Pit. But the hunting helps with feeling a little more in control of himself, like he's getting somewhere.

As for the Feywilds situation, Istredd has revealed himself there, and back then he might have been more defensive, but now he smiles wryly, sipping his drink before responding. ]

You may have struck a nerve that night. I hate being overlooked.

[ So they both remember it. Admitting to that is not easy typically, but they've reached a point or he's reached a point where he can confess that much. That's what he means by changed for the better. Istredd's not looking around every situation expecting an insult or that he has to push back on disrespect. Having someone accept and love him for who he is, especially his flaws, helps a great deal too. ]

I value our alliance, Geralt. I'd like that to go both ways.

[gynvael]

[ His eyebrow cocks, which is the only comment required. Lucifer is as good as any. One can't rely on magic in all circumstances. ]

You must be the only mage who gives a shit what a Witcher thinks.

[ It's less that Geralt had not meant to offend, and more that he assumed Istredd could not have cared less about what he said. Though now that he's come to know Istredd better, it no longer surprises him this was so. Mages can be terribly sensitive. He supposes that must be true twice over for one who was guided by Stregabor, of all people.

He is not sorry about the loss of the Brotherhood. Only the price its end extracted. He's glad both Yennefer and Istredd are free of its machinations. Not, of course, that he's so naïve as to believe others will not rise in its place—to fill that empty seat.

Still. Those pieces belong to another board. One they may never play again.

His expression grows contemplative. He tilts his head. They have migrated, he thinks, a little beyond an alliance of convenience. He doesn't say it. ] You would know if it did not.

[ He has little patience for subterfuge or niceties—as Istredd well knows. ]

[magicalarchaeologist]

The Brotherhood only cares about the Brotherhood. Cared, I mean.

[He pauses and there is a pang of pain that hasn't entirely gone away yet. The Brotherhood had it coming, one way or another, and he thinks that ultimately they were a corrupt organization that should have crumbled. They're still people to him though, people he grew up with, a group that would have him any time he needed to feel wanted.

Whatever organization Yennefer is making with the witches, it'll be better than that. So that way of thinking is for certain dead along with Stregobor and the others.]

Yennefer's much harder to win over than I am, Geralt. I give a shit.

[ Istredd's rant about 'Mr. I Communicate In A Series of Grunts But Somehow Everyone Loves Me' is particularly amusing considering he at least feels some fondness for the witcher. He craves his respect, something he's disgruntled about, but it's the truth. Perhaps it's the playing hard to get aspect, that he has to work for a glimmer of appreciation. Either way, it's out there now.

Istredd finds he doesn't mind as much as he thought he would. He smiles. ]

Who knows, maybe we could be friends, if you'd lower yourself to being one with a mage.

🎀

[gynvael]

[ His lips quirk. Is she? He supposes most do try to win her over, but for Geralt, it was...different. They were swept up in each other from the start, and equally distant at the same time. If it was not Yennefer pushing him away, then he was the one keeping her at arm's length.

Only recently have things felt steadier. Less fraught. He remains uncertain where they stand, what he wants—what she wants—but he no longer feels the burning need to empty too much of himself into her. It's...calm. Calmer. And he knows no matter what, she will be there for Ciri. There is some relief in not having that be a constant doubt. ]

A mage would mistake caution for superiority. [ The remark is not as biting as it sounds—a lightness to his tone. And it isn't a no, either. He has found his allies in mages before. Just...not many of them. But then, he hasn't many allies in general. Not ones he trusts wholly.

Geralt finishes his drink. Their business has concluded. He won't be long in Nocwich when he has to ride out at dawn. He rises from the table, stepping towards the exit. ] The length suits you. Keep it.

[ A rush of icy wind blasts through the door. Then it swings shut behind him. ]