[ Her touch nearly burns. A surge of anger rises over the ache beneath, cresting for a moment, before it all subsides into the same hollow that always sits within him. What’s he even angry about? That she had to ask him what she did, right as he was on the cusp of maybe letting go? That she came here at all? That he doesn’t know what to fucking do, because no matter what, whether he pushes her aside now or lets this play out, she will wake hating him still and he will feel the same?
For awhile, he is still. Her hair brushes his cheek, her scent wraps around him. He could drown in it. He wants to. He nearly does. Then she says. That. And he finds himself catching her wandering hand. He holds it in his. It’s warm. Soft. He remembers them too much.
(He should’ve been here alone. In this new sphere. They should’ve taken him alone. He understands how to be alone.)
Gently, but firmly, he pushes her back. She has no memory. She means what she’s saying. He hears it, anyway, the irony in her sincerity, in her telling him not to push things away. Her, of all people. Hasn’t she realized? That she’s the only person he tried to hold onto? The first, in a long time, he’d not kept at a distance? And where the fuck has that gotten him?
Here. With a need he never wanted to acknowledge, one he buried decades ago. And now that it’s been unearthed, he doesn’t know how to put it back.
His eyes lift towards hers. He curls his fingers into his palm, before he can reach for her. ] You did it first.
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For awhile, he is still. Her hair brushes his cheek, her scent wraps around him. He could drown in it. He wants to. He nearly does. Then she says. That. And he finds himself catching her wandering hand. He holds it in his. It’s warm. Soft. He remembers them too much.
(He should’ve been here alone. In this new sphere. They should’ve taken him alone. He understands how to be alone.)
Gently, but firmly, he pushes her back. She has no memory. She means what she’s saying. He hears it, anyway, the irony in her sincerity, in her telling him not to push things away. Her, of all people. Hasn’t she realized? That she’s the only person he tried to hold onto? The first, in a long time, he’d not kept at a distance? And where the fuck has that gotten him?
Here. With a need he never wanted to acknowledge, one he buried decades ago. And now that it’s been unearthed, he doesn’t know how to put it back.
His eyes lift towards hers. He curls his fingers into his palm, before he can reach for her. ] You did it first.