[ the tension returns to him like a fog, sweeping over a hillside. slowly, at first, then all encompassing. she had known the question would break whatever this peace had been between them, had known that her question would close him off from her again, but she misses the smile as soon as it is gone. wishes, in some sleepy, delayed fashion, she could have reached out and caught it.
he sits, resting his arms on his knees, and yennefer's eyes follow him. scan across the expanse of his shoulders, his back. she can see the part of him that had closed, the version of this man who had left her in this room just hours before. who had said no, but who had also said i want you in the same breath. she is so curious as to what all this is supposed to be, what it is supposed to mean, what he wants, in truth, out of it.
he says i don't know how to keep it and yennefer slowly pushes herself up to sit. she knows that what he says something important, something about them and this that she does not remember. it aches, inside her chest, not to know what he expects of her - but in that same breath, she wonders if that is the problem at all. that maybe he this, them, is something beyond that. and while she is not her - the woman who knows, the woman who remembers, the woman that doesn't need to ask those questions because the answers are so, so obvious - she reaches for him all the same. ]
Don't you?
[ her palm presses to his shoulder blade, her fingers splaying out across the fabric. the urge to touch him hasn't gone away, even if she had been the one to pull away from him, and in the next following moments she shifts to lean closer to him. to shift her body towards him, to set her chin atop his shoulder. as if she can feel the chill that has rocked through him, and she hopes to warm him through it.
what is it he's thinking? what is it that circles behind his eyes that keeps pushing this distance, building this wall. there is something in her chest that screams to burn it down, to crawl her way through it and set herself amidst the ashes, and while part of her wonders why there is such a reaction in herself to do it, it feels comfortable. like something she should be used to feeling, where it concerns him.
yennefer turns her face to press a cheek against his shoulder, her hand sliding across his upper back, fingers wishing to walk their way down his spine. she will keep this contact with him, for as long as he will let her. ]
no subject
he sits, resting his arms on his knees, and yennefer's eyes follow him. scan across the expanse of his shoulders, his back. she can see the part of him that had closed, the version of this man who had left her in this room just hours before. who had said no, but who had also said i want you in the same breath. she is so curious as to what all this is supposed to be, what it is supposed to mean, what he wants, in truth, out of it.
he says i don't know how to keep it and yennefer slowly pushes herself up to sit. she knows that what he says something important, something about them and this that she does not remember. it aches, inside her chest, not to know what he expects of her - but in that same breath, she wonders if that is the problem at all. that maybe he this, them, is something beyond that. and while she is not her - the woman who knows, the woman who remembers, the woman that doesn't need to ask those questions because the answers are so, so obvious - she reaches for him all the same. ]
Don't you?
[ her palm presses to his shoulder blade, her fingers splaying out across the fabric. the urge to touch him hasn't gone away, even if she had been the one to pull away from him, and in the next following moments she shifts to lean closer to him. to shift her body towards him, to set her chin atop his shoulder. as if she can feel the chill that has rocked through him, and she hopes to warm him through it.
what is it he's thinking? what is it that circles behind his eyes that keeps pushing this distance, building this wall. there is something in her chest that screams to burn it down, to crawl her way through it and set herself amidst the ashes, and while part of her wonders why there is such a reaction in herself to do it, it feels comfortable. like something she should be used to feeling, where it concerns him.
yennefer turns her face to press a cheek against his shoulder, her hand sliding across his upper back, fingers wishing to walk their way down his spine. she will keep this contact with him, for as long as he will let her. ]
You won't keep anything you push away.