[ Istredd doesn't know why. He thinks eventually he would have been taken, but perhaps not. He and Caitlyn were the only ones, and they also were the only ones capable of curing some of the infection. Both attempts damaged him, but it gave Istredd the opportunity to heal people who could help. Steve turned out to be the best idea, given that his clear head prevailed during the escape, and afterward too. If there were any answers as to why, he'll never know them.
He lets it be quiet too while Geralt thinks of something to say, but really it's Istredd's own mind churning too. He's been having this feeling in his gut, he's been musing on a variety of things, but he hasn't been able to put it into words. With Geralt, he's decided to try. It is easier for him, when things are logical. But this is not.]
The over a year I've spent in this place has changed me in a way decades did not. The trauma from the Pit, and from Thanedd ... I'm not the same person I was when we met.
[ When he followed the crumbs to Cirilla, when he went to the elves naively thinking he could save the day, when he learned how wrong he was and came back to the Brotherhood disgruntled. The memories of before and after Thanedd have now properly mixed together with this place, in clear clarity. He settles back in his chair and sighs, letting his eyes wander as if avoiding something, before he sets them on Geralt again. ]
I think it's for the better, the change, but I suppose part of me is wondering how to reconcile that certainty with the experience. Is it wrong to be glad for something terrible happening, if it led to somewhere important?
[ Geralt is far more worldly than Istredd. The scholar may have traveled some of the realm but always in his books or under ground or with his bones. In the library. He didn't experience life, he hid from it. Then he came here and he was forced to interact with other people and to find a community, which he tried (and failed) to avoid back home due to his issues with the Brotherhood. Istredd is many things he never thought he would be; a teacher, a mentor, a father figure, a lover, a close friend, a confidante, to more people than he typically spoke to on a weekly basis before.
So the changes? Where he is at right here in this tavern? He is grateful for. But it came at a cost, a cost he'd pay for himself, yet it is for others too. They all suffered, and he grew from that suffering. Would he do it all over again? Yes, to get here. That is the hard part to figure out. ]
no subject
He lets it be quiet too while Geralt thinks of something to say, but really it's Istredd's own mind churning too. He's been having this feeling in his gut, he's been musing on a variety of things, but he hasn't been able to put it into words. With Geralt, he's decided to try. It is easier for him, when things are logical. But this is not.]
The over a year I've spent in this place has changed me in a way decades did not. The trauma from the Pit, and from Thanedd ... I'm not the same person I was when we met.
[ When he followed the crumbs to Cirilla, when he went to the elves naively thinking he could save the day, when he learned how wrong he was and came back to the Brotherhood disgruntled. The memories of before and after Thanedd have now properly mixed together with this place, in clear clarity. He settles back in his chair and sighs, letting his eyes wander as if avoiding something, before he sets them on Geralt again. ]
I think it's for the better, the change, but I suppose part of me is wondering how to reconcile that certainty with the experience. Is it wrong to be glad for something terrible happening, if it led to somewhere important?
[ Geralt is far more worldly than Istredd. The scholar may have traveled some of the realm but always in his books or under ground or with his bones. In the library. He didn't experience life, he hid from it. Then he came here and he was forced to interact with other people and to find a community, which he tried (and failed) to avoid back home due to his issues with the Brotherhood. Istredd is many things he never thought he would be; a teacher, a mentor, a father figure, a lover, a close friend, a confidante, to more people than he typically spoke to on a weekly basis before.
So the changes? Where he is at right here in this tavern? He is grateful for. But it came at a cost, a cost he'd pay for himself, yet it is for others too. They all suffered, and he grew from that suffering. Would he do it all over again? Yes, to get here. That is the hard part to figure out. ]